Unraveling the Mystery, pt. 5

By the time I was 16, jerking off was as much a routine for me as eating.
And I ate a lot.
I managed to get a hold of a few magazines that were more sacred to me than any scripture.
Playboy, Penthouse, Gallery, and High Society.  I had to constantly hide and shift my stash around my room, as my mom was always cleaning, and always snooping.  I surgically removed this felt lining under my bed, and glued opposing velcro strips so that I could open it and stash them up inside the bed frame out of site.

But I got cocky and sloppy {puns intended} and one day I inadvertently left my two Playboy's sitting under my bed.  My mom went vacum my room and found them while  I was at school.

I got home from school and noticed my mom seemed pissed.  She didn't say a word to me and went out to the garden to work.  After a while I looked under my bed and realized what was missing.  "Oh shit" crossed my mind just as I heard my dad get home from work.  I figured my mom had probably already called my dad, this made the wait and anxiety peak.  I figured there was nothing I could really do so I fired up some music and worked on homework until the bomb dropped.

I was 16 and never got "the talk", nor was anything taught at school, sexuality was never discussed in my household.  Masturbation was also a taboo topic those days...even at school it was never really discussed among other kids other than crude jokes.

So my dad entered the room with the proverbial "we need to talk about something" as he carried my magazines into the room.  What followed was a lame attempt at the sex talk intertwined with religion.  What he didn't know, was that I had learned about this 4 or 5 years previous on my own, not to mention that I had been on the periodic receiving end of oral sex for about three months.  Naturally I played dumb and placated him to get it over with.

Lesson learned.  Hide your porn stash better dumb ass!