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The Oldest Profession

I have never sought for, nor paid for a prostitute or "escort" in the real world, nor do I ever plan too.

However, the fantasy of  buying a high class "Professional' has provided me with a countless number of self induced orgasms.  It's not about the sex per se, it's about the danger and preliminary activities that precede the sex.  The idea that a simple exchange of money will provide fulfillment of a fantasy without judgment or question from the 'service provider'.  There's dominant / submissive relationship there and as a professional there is the expectation of a high skill level in pleasuring.

With all of the naughty explorations my wife and I have tried, I'm amazed we haven't done more role playing.  

The idea goes something like this.  A weekend suite at a nice hotel is booked.  My wife picks out some sexy  black lingerie to wear "underneath" that includes the classic- garter, stockings and heels.

And then picks out a classy dress to wear over it...something red would be nice

So a business associate gives me the contact info for a very expensive and high class "Madam".  I call this madam, who's part is played by my wife.  And I describe to her  exactly what I'm looking for and what the cost will be.  She gives me instructions on where to go and who to meet....perhaps in a park or someplace near the hotel.  She informs me that kissing her on the mouth is not allowed.  (adds a little tension to the roleplaying and is different because after all, she's not my wife.) I place the "money" in a large envelope and go meet this "mystery women".  (The money might be something that will make her blush, or get tingly when she sees it.)  I sit on the bench next to her and place the envelope between us.  She casually looks at it's contents =) and then leaves me the instructions on where to meet my "date" and what she looks like.

I put on a nice suit and tie...

and meet her for dinner, perhaps at the Hotel or someplace nearby.

We eat, small talk, she asks about my wife  =)

I slip her my room key and tell her that I'll meet her there in about 30-40 minutes.  She heads off to the room to prepare, as I sit at the bar and have a couple drinks.

I enter the room and as per my instructions, she has removed the dress and is wearing the lingerie.  We're on an upper floor, and the curtains are open and she is seated in a comfy chair....masturbating (with her lacy panties still on and soft gloves) as I walk in.  I remove my shoes and find a comfy spot on the bed to watch her.  She has to bring herself to orgasm as I watch...perhaps take a few photos...as she gets closer I undo my fly and perhaps I begin stroking my erect cock.  After she cums, she gets up and prepares me a drink...something in a large martini glass.  I stand up as she approaches.  She hands me my drink and I notice that the panties she was wearing are there..in my drink and it is a full glass.   She immediately drops down to her knees, removes my pants, and engulfs my cock in her mouth.  I have to carefully sip my drink and refrain from spilling as she is giving me a divinely inspired blow job.

After a nice long round of fucking and orgasms we retire to the hot tub.  As a reward for treating me so well, I offer to bathe and massage her.  When we finally tire ourselves out, we go to bed.  I have to get up early for a business flight.  Leave her a tip and head out.  My wife transforms back to her normal self and we meet back at the house later and laugh like naughty teenagers that did something wild the night before.

Feel free to add any variation or scene to this scenario and perhaps it will get used sometime.

Legs, Stockings, and Garters...oh, my.

Unraveling the Mystery, pt. 5

By the time I was 16, jerking off was as much a routine for me as eating.
And I ate a lot.
I managed to get a hold of a few magazines that were more sacred to me than any scripture.
Playboy, Penthouse, Gallery, and High Society.  I had to constantly hide and shift my stash around my room, as my mom was always cleaning, and always snooping.  I surgically removed this felt lining under my bed, and glued opposing velcro strips so that I could open it and stash them up inside the bed frame out of site.

But I got cocky and sloppy {puns intended} and one day I inadvertently left my two Playboy's sitting under my bed.  My mom went vacum my room and found them while  I was at school.

I got home from school and noticed my mom seemed pissed.  She didn't say a word to me and went out to the garden to work.  After a while I looked under my bed and realized what was missing.  "Oh shit" crossed my mind just as I heard my dad get home from work.  I figured my mom had probably already called my dad, this made the wait and anxiety peak.  I figured there was nothing I could really do so I fired up some music and worked on homework until the bomb dropped.

I was 16 and never got "the talk", nor was anything taught at school, sexuality was never discussed in my household.  Masturbation was also a taboo topic those days...even at school it was never really discussed among other kids other than crude jokes.

So my dad entered the room with the proverbial "we need to talk about something" as he carried my magazines into the room.  What followed was a lame attempt at the sex talk intertwined with religion.  What he didn't know, was that I had learned about this 4 or 5 years previous on my own, not to mention that I had been on the periodic receiving end of oral sex for about three months.  Naturally I played dumb and placated him to get it over with.

Lesson learned.  Hide your porn stash better dumb ass!

Fishnet Stockings!

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Everybody's Gay

http://frisky916cpl.blogspot.com/2011/10/do-you-masturbate-this-guy-says-youre.html

Christian Right Wing Pastor Mark Driscoll Says Masturbation Is Form of Homosexuality

The Christian Right has much to say about homosexuality. Fred Phelpsl [sic] says God hates them and stages protests at the funerals of American soldiers to bring attention to his hatred. An anti-gay Christian Right wing activist recently said there wasn’t any proof that LBGT people exist. And most recently, a conservative crowd booed a gay soldier during a GOP Debate. Now a “pastor” on the Christian Right is saying that masturbation is a form of homosexuality.


“Pastor” Mark Driscoll says that men need to stop masturbating because it’s a kind of homosexuality. In a booklet titled Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography & Masturbation for God’s Men, Driscoll of the Seattle-based Mars Hill Church says, “First, masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexual activity, particularly if he’s watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body.”


In sermons offered at this website, Driscoll also says that Christians should judge gay people like Jesus. “If you leave this church, you can go to another church and they will tell you if you are living together and not married, that's okay. They'll tell you if you're gay, that's okay. They'll tell you if you're married and you're into porno and wife-swapping and open marriages, that's okay. God is displeased with that conduct. …. Christians therefore must be judgmental like Jesus."


Driscoll is a poor excuse of a pastor. This supposed "man of God" should know that Jesus was not judgmental, and he certainly frowned upon Christians judging others. "Judge not lest ye be judged," Jesus said to a group of men who were judging an adulterer. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." The Bible says that the only sexuality we should be concerned with is our own. I'm certain this "pastor" sins on a daily basis and has probably masturbated a couple times in his life. Interestingly enough, he isn't saying anything about female masturbation. He's probably okay with that.

Well, duh. Female masturbation is fucking hot.


For the record, there is no connection between masturbation and homosexuality. Sure, gays masturbate, but so do straight people and we can say this with 100% confidence because we're straight people and we masturbate. In fact, we are thinking of masturbating as soon as we post this. Mark Driscoll would probably claim that the fact that we masturbate means we are gay. Hey, that's great, Mark. But admit it, you've masturbated like one of those red-assed monkeys at the zoo being paid by the fluid ounce. Maybe you don't anymore; maybe the shame and the self-hatred you feel for having masturbated at one point in your life forced you to kick the habit. If that's the case, then we feel sorry for you, because masturbation is awesome. It's the one kind of sex that the most repulsive members of society can be assured of experiencing, and you should know. But if it makes you feel better to say that we're all gay, then that's fabulous.